Howdy there, the name's Luke Johnson. I grew on up deep down south, middle of no where Alabama. I could tell you where, but I reckon you ain't never heard of it. It's a small town where everyone knows everyone. One of those type a towns. But I'm tired of it. I'm sick and tired of getting in up in this little white town everyday. Where we farm and go to church and spend time complainin' about how those darned liberals are trying to take away our guns. So me and my good dog, Spot, have come up with a foolproof plan to get us out of here, and up to New York where we can make somethin' of ourselves. The red X is where we are, and the green X is where we're gonna be. As I'm writing this, me and Spot are sneaking out of the barn and hopping into my Pop's old trunk-- he's been tryin to sell this ol' thing anyways. Then I hot wire the car (I learned how to do it when I was watching Joe Dirt with my old man) and sped off down the rigidity dir...
stay hydrated, homies